An adventurous journey...

Photo credit ~ Douglas McCall

“The most adventurous journey to embark on; is the journey to yourself, the most exciting thing to discover; is who you really are, the most treasured pieces that you can find; are all the pieces of you, the most special portrait you can recognize; is the portrait of your soul.”  ~ C. JoyBell C.

I came upon this quote and immediately thought, YES! Cheerful Acceptance can and should be the most adventurous journey you ever take.  You can think of it like a really good scavenger hunt.  The best part is that you, yourself hid all of the clues and the solutions to all of the riddles are of your own design.  

The journey will be different for each of us.  In the last few posts, I have commented on how our strengths and weaknesses make us unique...it is for that same reason that each our journey's will be different.  Each clue we find to our true self will lead us in another direction.  However, the goal remains the same for all of us...at the end of the journey we will have found our true selves.  There can be no greater prize that to come to the end of the long road and be able to embrace who we truly are.

Unfortunately, because each of our paths is so unique, there is no common map...no guidebook we can purchase....and for those of us from a younger generation, no cheat codes that will make the trip easier...or steer us clear of the pitfalls...and there will be some.

As I think about that last statement.....I begin to think....Perhaps the greatest part about this journey is its uniqueness.  Think about it...when you take an adventure up a mountain, on a previously made trail...you are having someone else's adventure.  The trail is set before you...and you need only follow.  This journey to Cheerful Acceptance is much closer to the first settlers crossing the Mississippi in to the Wild West....There is no map....just a general direction.....they were headed West...We, are headed towards ourselves.

It is natural to feel nervous or scared when starting a journey in an unfamiliar direction to head for an unknown destination.  We can only hold on to the knowledge that destination is worth the journey, and Cheerful Acceptance is well worth the journey.  Finding our truest selves is well worth it.

So there it is, the journey lies before you (I almost said path...but there is no path).  To paraphrase Lao-Tzu, "The journey of a lifetime [thousand miles] begins with a single step."  What is the step you are going to take today?  What strengths or weakness are you going to Cheerfully Accept today...without judgement?  Have a GREAT day!.....and safe journey!

Just Be Yourself

Image Credit - Andy Claire Fleming

“There's no alternative to being yourself. Accept it, honour it, value it - and get on with it.” 
~ Rasheed Ogunlaru

The quote this morning is the "no nonsense" breakdown of Cheerful Acceptance. And sometimes that is what we need.  It is great to write tons of lines and stories about how to do it and take five minutes here and do this for five minutes there and I am not sharing today to devalue on of my own past reflections.  However, if life has taught me anything, it is that sometimes we just need to hear the unfiltered...truth.

"There is no alternative to being yourself"... which means any time we try to be anything but our true self, we are going against nature...being unnatural.  And that never feels right.  I think back when I have seen someone who is far more flexible than I perform some feat of dexterity...and my first response is that is unnatural.  For me, it feels uncomfortable (even though I am not doing it), because it is not who I am...for them it is completely natural.  The most important part of this little reflection is how I feel when I see the feat performed... I feel uncomfortable...  Well the reality is, that everyday we spend trying to hide our weaknesses and strengths (yes, there are people who do hide/deny their strengths too...are you one of them?  I bet you know someone who is...) we are being unnatural...and it takes its toll on us...Maybe it is a little more stress, perhaps it is an uneasy feeling....maybe we don't sleep as well...or we deny ourselves proper nutrition...  It can manifest in a myriad of ways.  But to be sure, when we are choosing the alternative to being ourselves. it affects us.

And that brings us to the next part of the of the quote....the solution..plain and simple.  "Accept it, honour it, value it"....  This is the root of Cheerful Acceptance.....accept who you are....all of who you are.  Honor what uniqueness you have to offer the world and value all the parts of you, for without them, you would cease to be you.

And finally, "Get on with it."  This is the action.  Do it now....Don't wait!  The world won't wait for you.  Even moment you spend denying your true self is a day lost.  What actions can you take today to bring more Cheerful Acceptance into your life?  What parts of you have you been hiding?  How can you accept, honor and value yourself today?

A personal experience with Cheerful Acceptance

Image Credit - Gini Grey

“Self-acceptance is a way of viewing oneself compassionately, without condemnation or justification. It is a starting point in life which makes other things possible. It celebrates the fullness of joy of being alive and of being who we are: accepting ourselves, however, does not mean embracing our neuroses or bad habits and celebrating them as if they were virtues. On the contrary, self-acceptance involves loving ourselves enough to accept painful truths about ourselves. . . . Self-acceptance is, at its simplest, the experience of one's self, here and now, as a complete human being, with all the glories and problems that condition entails.”
 ~ Don Richard Riso

This morning I have a bit of a different take on acceptance.  Yesterday, I had shoulder surgery on my dominant side.  While the surgery went well, and my recovery time has been shortened significantly....I am without the use of my dominant hand for the immediate future.  In the span of a two-hour surgery, I went from two functional arms to one...  I can't dress myself, getting around (like stairs) is a lot more uncomfortable.  Yesterday, I was largely unwilling to accept this new reality.  I was so convinced that I could do everything I could before, that I tried to maintain my normal schedule.  This was a mistake!  Sometimes the act of Cheerful Acceptance is merely accepting your situation and learning to modify.  I have watched Steph have to modify through her recovery, but I never transferred that to my situation.  Today will definitely be a different day.

Now on to my quote for the day.  This quote jumped off the screen at me.  It perfectly describes the Cheerful Acceptance process.  Acceptance is acknowledgement without judgement.  Acceptance is not taking our weaknesses and painting a pretty face on them.  It is the process of acknowledging them and using them to define our character that is most important.  Our strengths and weaknesses can change each day.  Cheerful Acceptance is being able to recognize them in the present.  This morning, I had to Cheerfully Accept that I was not able to do everything for myself.  I started the morning trying to do everything for myself and it was very stressful (not to mention painful).  After a few minutes, I was able to connect with Cheerful Acceptance and allow myself to be vulnerable and ask for help from Steph.  It was not easy, but it was worth it.  Accepting my weakness allowed me to be in less pain and it helped strengthen the bond between Steph and I.  This only goes to show that there is GREAT power in Cheerful Acceptance.

What does it mean for you experience yourself as a complete human being today?  What are today's strengths and weaknesses?  How can you use this Cheerful Acceptance to power your day?  Have a GREAT day!

Self-improvement or Self-Acceptance

Image Credit - Living in Bliss

“No amount of self-improvement can make up for any lack of self-acceptance.” ~ Robert Holden

There is a great deal of self-improvement literature out there.  Walk in to any book store and you can find an entire section of the store on it.  Search "self-improvement" in "books" on Amazon.com and it reveals 64,566 results (self-acceptance has a paltry 26,801 by comparison).    The basic premise of self-improvement is to focus on your strengths and build them up or freeing yourself from negative habits.  The folks that have written these books have done so with the best of intentions and I do not mean to devalue their work, but they have missed a critical piece of the equation.  How can you start to improve yourself, if you do not know who you are at your core.  Think of it this way, if you decide to renovate a building, but you never look at the substructure of the building to identify the strengths and flaws in the foundation of the building, you have made the building look prettier, but you have not improved its structural integrity...it may still fall down...maybe not immediately, but far sooner than if you had taken the time to improve the foundation.

This is the heart of Holden's quote.  Self-improvement is futile if you do not take the steps to Cheerfully Accept who you are first.  In order for self-improvement to be truly effective, we need to have a complete understanding, a oneness with who we are.  When we accept who we are. we have built a strong foundation with which to make the necessary improvements to our life's structure.

Take 5 minutes today to look deep at who you are.  If you are truly interested in improving yourself, what parts of you do you need to Cheerfully Accept to move forward?  Have a GREAT day!

Hello Self, Its a privilege to meet me!

Image Credit - Pinterest

“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ~ Joseph Campbell

I had to sit for a few moments and let that quote sink in a bit....Cheerful Acceptance is not a chore, a must-do or a to-do list item.  It is a privilege...that is truly a powerful thought.

The act of taking a deep look into ourselves and accepting all of the parts that makes us who were are is hard work.  It is a path that is riddled with happiness and pain...some of the things we find along the way may have been hidden for years...or even decades.  They may be things we have worked a lifetime to deny or hide.  That does not make it any less of a privilege to take the journey.  

I am reminded of last summer (2013) and Steph an I had 3 weeks to ourselves because the girls were away at camp.  The day we dropped them off, we decided to go for a hike....up Bald Mountain to the Rondaxe Fire Tower.  We were in okay physical shape for we had been exercising regularly for about a month.  It was a hard climb, we learned how to work with each other, find the safe paths, navigate the more dangerous ones...all one step at a time.  Our reward was a beautiful view when we reached the top.

Photo Credit ~ Douglas McCall

It was a privilege to be able to witness God's wonder and majesty as we surveyed the Adirondacks from atop that mountain.  Yes the journey was hard, and we were not prepared when we began, but none of that made us any less privileged to experience it.

Cheerfully Accepting who you are is no less a privilege.  Each day you wake up with the privilege to experience who you are, the strengths and the weaknesses.  Each  strength and weakness is an integral part of the uniqueness that is you.  Your unique combination of strengths and weaknesses  allows you to interact with world in a completely unique way and no one else can do it quite like you.  Enjoy who you are!  Take 5 minutes each morning, look in the mirror and say, "Good morning self,  It is an honor and a privilege to spend the day with you!  Lets make it a GREAT day!"

Try that tomorrow and see what how it changes the kind of day you have!

Open up POSSIBILITIES!

Photo taken by ~ Douglas McCall

“Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.” ~Shel Silverstein

Today's entry is going to take a slightly different turn.  Normally, I get up, search the self-acceptance quotes and find something to reflect on that speaks to me.  If you are getting to my Blog through Facebook (which 99% of you are) then you know that I am currently in St. Louis, MO.  I am here for a conference..a music education research conference.  While I have gained some great information to take back to the classroom...this conference has meant a great deal more to me.

Yesterday afternoon, I took some time out to "be a tourist."  I only went 2 places, the Shriner's Hospital and the Gateway Arch.  Both were inspiring.  If you ever have the opportunity to visit a Shriner's Hospital, Mason or not, you should.  These hospitals' sole mission is to provide specialists medical care for children at no cost to the family.  Transportation is even covered by the Shrine Temple in the city the child is from.  The local Shriner's drive the child/family to the hospital (even if it several states away) and wait with them.  These generous men, through their time, industry and money, open up possibilities for these kids that they would not normally have.

While I was in St. Louis, I saw the Gateway Arch multiple times from a distance.  I must admit....among the 30 and 40 story sky-scrapers, the Arch is not quite as impressive.  I have no doubt that when it was built, it was magnificent, but as time has marched on...it is now buried in a metropolis.

However, when I arrived at the base of the Arch, it was a very different experience.  I started off by walking down to the shore of the Mississippi River.  At this point in the river, the river did not seem that wide, but to the early settlers and the Western expansionists, I am sure crossing it with covered wagons was a truly daunting task.  Our ancestors opened up possibilities for an entire nation.

I did all the "tourist" things....took pictures of the Arch, rode the tram to the top of the Arch and took some more pictures.  Interesting to note, there is an entire National Park underneath the Arch.  You can't see it when you are looking at the Arch, but once you find it, it is very impressive.

Then I sat....at the base of the Arch...and read.  I probably sat there for an hour or more.  It was wonderful, I am currently reading several books, but yesterday I was reading One Person/Multiple Careers by Marci Alboher.  It is a very good read, I highly recommend it.  After some quiet reflection...in a place where so many people embraced the possibilities ahead them, I realized that Cheerful Acceptance is about embracing possibilities.  It is the act of accepting who you are so that you can move forward and size control of all the possibilities ahead of you.

What possibilities lie ahead of you today?  Can you find just 5 minutes to change the self-talk, accept who you are use the that acceptance to open up a new possibility for you? Have a GREAT day!

One brick at a time!

Image Credit - Faith Connection

"The worst walls are never the ones you find in your way. The worst walls are the ones you put there- you build yourself. Those are the high ones, the thick ones, the ones with no doors in." ~  Ursula K. LeGuin

I saw this quote I thought about how it related to the weaknesses that all have.  I know in my own life, I have put up walls to protect me from having to acknowledge those weaknesses.  As I examine my walls, I would take LeGuin's words a little farther.  Not only are the walls we build the highest, thickest and least likely to have doors, but we also have the uncanny ability to add bricks to them as needed.  

I am reminded of an experience in my recent past.  In September 2013, I participated in the Fingerlakes Mud Run and one of the obstacles (actually it was the first) was Hardwood's Revenge...which is basically a climb over a 7' wall followed by a climb over a 10' wall.  This was a daunting task for someone who had only recently joined the physical fitness game, but it was not impossible.  When I reached the obstacle, I had the option to go over or around.  I chose over (because I had many friends with me to help) and once I committed to the challenge, the walls were still only 7' and 10' high.  They did not get taller as I was scaling them.  When I finished scaling the 10' wall..there were no others added after it.

The walls I am encountering now, as I travel down the road to Cheerful Acceptance are much higher than 10'...and as I begin to scale them, it seems as though they are getting taller the closer I get to the top.  Each time I feel like I am making headway in my journey to accept all of my strengths and weaknesses, there are more bricks added to the walls I have established in a lifetime of hiding from those things.  I have worked so hard creating walls that they have, in a way, become self-sustaining.  The defend themselves and work to keep me out.  I am coming to the realization that the secret is not to climb the walls for even if/when I reach the top, the wall will still be there.  The REAL secret is to remove the walls.  Part of my journey to Cheerful Acceptance is to recognize the walls and to systematically, one brick at a time, take the wall down.  As I am typing this, my theatre background is humming the song One Brick at a Time from "Barnum."  In the song, they are building the wall of Barnum's first museum, but the sentiment of One brick at a time works if you think of it in reverse.

How are you going to take down your walls today?  What bricks are you going to carry away, one brick at a time?  Don't try to carry the whole wall away, commit to one brick...and then another... Cheerful Acceptance is a journey and it starts with one brick!  Have a GREAT day!

I am STYLISH!

Image Credit ~ Sunshine Small Talk

"Style is something peculiar to one person; it expresses one personality and one only; it cannot be shared."

~ Freya Stark

One of the great deceptions of our culture is that it embraces and encourages individuality.  If you look at the messages coming from the media and the billions of commercials we are bombarded with day in and day out, it won't take you long to realize that we constantly reminded to be like everyone else.  We should all buy this brand or that brand to look cool.  We should all drive this car.  Sure there are hundreds of companies, but the message is the same.

Steph and I were talking the other day and it occurred to me that the path to cheerful acceptance is counter-culture.  Cheerful acceptance means giving up on worrying about how you are perceived by others and accepting all of the things that are you...your uniqueness...or as Freya Stark implies in her quote, your own style.  If style is peculiar to one person, doesn't that imply that when were are Cheerfully Accepting who we are and living in to that acceptance that we are, in fact, being "stylish."  If we are truly going to be a culture of individuality and uniqueness, then its starts from inside...we have accept and be unique.  Does it really matter that you are wearing an Armani suit and a Rolex, driving a BMW if you go through each day afraid of the dark places in your own life?  I would suggest that those "culturally stylistic trappings" are simply a method for hiding our own insecurities.

Step out into the light!  Be yourself!  Cheerfully Accept yourself!  If the real you likes to wear Armani suits...then so be it....but do it because it is you, not because everyone else thinks that Armani suits are cool!  Have a GREAT day!

Getting rid of the "Enoughs"

Image Credit ~ The Healthy Maiden

"If you are of of those rare and fortunate people who already experience your body as perfect exactly as it is, with all its foibles and strengths, then you already embraced the lesson of acceptance and can fast forward to the next lesson. However, if any small part of you believes that you would be happier if you were thinner, taller, larger, firmer, blonder, stronger, or some other physical alteration you think would magically transform your life for the better, then you might want to spend some time learning about the value of true acceptance.

Acceptance is the act of embracing what life presents to you with a good attitude. Our bodies are among the most willing and wise teachers of this lesson. It can be like an ever-present benevolent guide or a lifelong cross you bear. The decision is yours based on how well you learn this lesson.

For many people, their body is the target for their harshest judgment and the barometer by which they measure their self worth. They hold themselves up to an unattainable standard and berate themselves for coming up short of perfection. Since your physical shape is the form in which you show up in the world, it is very often the way you define yourself, and often the way others define you."  ~Andrew Adler

This was a very long quote and I wasn't sure I wanted to include it, but its message is very appropriate.  Mr. Adler is referring specifically to body image (which is a common thread in the acceptance literature), but his quote can be universal.  What he is really talking about is recognizing and dealing with the "enoughs."  You know what I am talking about.  In the past 24 hours, how many times have you even thought for a second, "I'm not _____________ enough!" (good, smart, thin, tall, talented, etc...).  Anytime you think or say this sentence, you are not practicing self-acceptance.  The moment that we start the comparison mentality (and that is truly what this is) we are allowing our self-worth to be defined by a comparison to an external concept we cannot control.  The next time you say/think an enough statement, (ex. "I am not thin enough).  Think about this, what ideal are you comparing yourself to?  Who is enough?  What embodies your vision of enough?  Realize that we are setting an unrealistic vision of perfection and in reality, we are almost never capable to reaching the mark we set for ourselves in our "enough statement."

Cheerful Acceptance gives us the freedom to be rid of our "enough" shackles.  It allows us the space to accept who we are and realize the only "enough" that should matter.  It is the "I am enough".  I accept who I am and who I am is enough, I am worthy!  Getting rid of the "enoughs" is not an easy journey and it is not accomplished overnight, but you can start today.  The next time you find yourself think, "I am not ___________ enough."  Unshackle Yourself, and replace that thought with I am enough!  Just start with once...and then work to repeat the process.

Have a GREAT day!

Cheerful acceptance is freedom!

Image credit - Attitude Reconstruction

"What is freedom?  It consists in two things: to know each his own limitation and accept them - that is the same thing as to know oneself, and accept oneself as one is, without fear, or envy, or distaste; and to recognise and accept the conditions under which one lives, also without fear, or envy, or distaste.  When you do this, you shall be free." ~ Ann Bridge (1889-1974)

Cheerful Acceptance is freedom!  The idea of accepting everything about what makes us unique is unimaginably freeing. As I look inward, the most freeing part of this is the freedom from guilt. When I finish this journey, I will no longer have to feel guilty about who I am.  I am free to present, real, and unique with each and every person I encounter, whether I have known them for 10 minutes or 10 years.  I am free to share with them who I am without the fear (or guilt) of them finding out who I really am.  Right now, that is a very real fear for me, because I am so busy hiding who I really am from myself...to acknowledge it to someone else would be acknowledging it to me as well.

For example, last night I started getting a migraine around 5 pm. I get migraines fairly regularly and have since I was in college.  I have never really found a trigger....or a good medication for treating...so I just deal with them.  Anyway, it started around 5 and by 9 it was excruciating.  I normally take some Excedrin and bury myself under a pillow.  This time however, it did not work.  By 9:30, I was exhausted, in pain and my stomach was turning in knots.... so I laid down.  By 10, I could not sleep, my mind was reeling and I could not center on what was bothering me.  Steph asked me many times what she could do to help and I could think of anything...I didn't know what was wrong.  We went and watched more TV to divert my mind...no good.  Finally, I knew I had to slow down my mind so I plugged in headphones and listened to the "Meditation Radio" setting on Pandora and slowly drifted off in my chair.  Finally, I had quieted my mind enough to sleep.  I took the IPad upstairs and put on my headphones so I could fall asleep.

You may be asking by now, what has this got to do with Cheerful Acceptance?  Here is the punch line.  I am flying to St. Louis on Wednesday for a conference (I have not flown sine before 9/11 - and then only once before).  I have not been further than 4-5 hours driving time from Steph and the girls since we were married, Steph has been dealing with a long-term recovery that has left me in primary care of everyone since early February.  I have a tendency to be introverted when it comes to meeting new people (I am going to a national conference).  Finances have been a little tight since Stephs accident and I have to pay up front for this conference.  So, long story short, I have a few stresses going on right now.  However, I am not admitting them to anyone, including me until now.  When Steph asked what was wrong last night.  I was so busy "not showing weakness" that I couldn't even identify what was bothering me.  After I finally calmed my mind and meditated a bit, this realization came to me and this morning I get it!  Had I Cheerfully Accepted that I was carrying around all this stress, I could have talked to Steph about it, moved past it and gotten a decent night' rest.  What a tough lesson to learn!

Cheerful Acceptance is the freedom to accept everything about who you are and what you are experiencing without judgment.  It gives you the freedom to move forward and be present and enjoy the life that you are living, instead of hiding from it.  I hope that my story encourages you to find some time to cheerfully accept yourself.  Have a GREAT day!

Accepting faults...

Image credit Campuscalm.com

"Unless I accept my faults, I will most certainly doubt my virtues." ~ Hugh Prather

"Your problem is you're...too busy holding onto your unworthiness." ~ Ram Dass

I came across these two quotes this morning and thought about them for several minutes.  I was actually torn because my pattern has been find 1 quote and start writing.  I just couldn't decide between the two of them.  And I thought some more and realized....The reason I couldn't decide is because they capture two sides of the same continuum.  You must acknowledge both.

The first quote is the mantra of self-acceptance.  You need to accept all the parts of who you are in order to truly accept yourself.  If you ignore your faults, then even when you find and recognize your virtues, they will be tempered with the energy coming from those dark places your are trying to hide.

On the other side of this is the second quote and it speaks directly to how we accept our faults.  The goal is to accept them without judgement.  Our faults are not good or bad, they just simply are.  The second quote admonishes us that if we judge our faults as we acknowledge then we will begin to feel unworthy and that will become our focus. The key lies in getting rid of the judgement.

In yesterday's blog, Cheerful Acceptance Every 5 Minutes I challenged myself (and you, the reader) to find a way to find 5 minutes to change the negative self-talk.  Today I challenge myself (and you, the reader) to find one fault and try to accept it without judgement.  Remember, it is not good or bad,  it does not make you a good or bad person....it is just an integral part of your "you-ness".  Have a GREAT day!

Cheerful Acceptance every 5 minutes

Image Credit ~ Inspiration Daily

"To be beautiful means to be yourself.  You don't need to be accepted by others.  You need to accept yourself." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Imagine, your second alarm goes off at 5:30am (the one you set for the 5am workout you rarely do has gone off and you ignored it).  On any other morning you would have spent 15 minutes of badgering, or worse yet belittling self-talk, but this morning you are practicing Cheerful Acceptance so you think, "hmm..guess I needed a bit more sleep this morning...that's okay."

You walk in the bathroom, catch yourself in the mirror and instead of continuing the negative self-talk with things like "uggh...look at that stomach, I should have exercised this morning..." you think to yourself, "I have been eating healthier, and even though I missed my workout this morning, I am more active...I am making improvement."

You finish your shower and go to the closet and instead of fumbling through the clothes thinking, "man, I have nothing to wear....nothing that looks good...I need a new wardrobe..." you think to yourself, "I have to change things up a little, how can I make the best of this a put something together that makes me feel good....I have been working hard, maybe I can treat myself to a new outfit at the end of the month, after I pay the bills."

It is now 5:45am.....only 15 minutes and you have found 3 opportunities (for you closet statisticians out there that is once every 5 minutes) to change the negative self-talk into Cheerful Acceptance of who you are and what positive things are going on in your life.  If you can find a place to practice Cheerful Acceptance every 5 minutes, think how many times a day that will translate into!!

What negative self-talk can you turn into Cheerful Acceptance today?  All you need to do is find 5 minutes and you can make a positive step forward!  Have a GREAT day!!

Living your REAL life

Image Credit ~ keepcalm-o-matic

“When you stop living your life based on what others think of you real life begins. At that moment, you will finally see the door of self acceptance opened.” ~ Shannon L. Alder

There are a a lot of expectations in this world.  Virtually everywhere you go you will find some one...or a group of someones who will be ready to tell you how you are supposed to live your life.  For many of us that starts when we are growing up.  Some with the best of intentions, others not so much, our parents, teachers, friends, community, the media and a host of others express their beliefs regarding who we should be.  In our youth, this is done to give us the skills we need to be successful as adults.  However, think of it this way, if we spend our entire developmental years making decisions based on how it will be viewed by the respected adults around us, at what point do we learn to make decisions and live our life based on what we think of ourselves?

This is not something that is taught to us when we reach adulthood.  I don't remember getting a card that said , "Congratulations, you are an adult...stop worrying about what others think of you and focus of your acceptance of yourself!"  Some of us make that switch naturally, or by chance, or good fortune.  Others never cross that threshold, they move into adulthood concerned...some times hyper-concerned about the opinions others view of them.  And there are people who are some mixture of the two.  You can think of it as a continuum  and we all fall somewhere on it.

I never realized (as I suspect is the case with many of us who never crossed the threshold) that I was living my life based on how others viewed me.  I have always thought that my ability to change who I am to "fit-in" to any particular situation was a useful skill.  As I travel this new journey, I realize that my habitual tendency to "fit-in" was preventing my from accessing who I truly am.

The hardest part of my journey so far is that I have to stop "fitting-in."  I have to turn my gaze with-in, find out who I am (both the strengths and weaknesses) and learn to be that person.  I am so accustomed to "fitting-in" that it takes a great deal of thought and deliberate work to stop "fitting in."  My biggest fear right now is that once I start  accessing the power of self-acceptance and I stop just "fitting-in" those closest to me will see this as my personality "changing" and will not know how to handle my awakening.  

I know that being able to Cheerfully Accept who I am will help me on my journey from "fitting-in" to being true myself.  I look forward to this journey.

Cheerful Acceptance and Perseverance

Image Credit - my.CBN.com

"I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do.  That is character!" ~ Theodore Roosevelt

The importance of making everyplace you are a safe place.  Working in public school has afforded me the opportunity to experience a wide variety of interpersonal interactions.  Friendships in high school can change as suddenly as the winds on the desert...and can be equally as dangerous.  I have always tried to impress upon my students the importance of making each other feel welcome.  I do not try to force students to be friends with everybody, however I do expect them to create a place where everyone can feel comfortable.  I know that with all the hormones raging high school students can be mean and herd mentality can create some pretty ugly situations.  I though that I had created an atmosphere that mitigated that in some way.....boy was I wrong this year!  I have witnessed two students who were best friends in September become bitter enemies by April.  Things have become so negative that one of the students involved has dropped all chorus classes as a result of this incident.  This student was in 3 choirs and multiple extra-curricular groups.  The student felt so unsafe that she gave up all music in the last quarter of her senior year...  I find this very saddening.

As I work through my issues around self-worth, I immediately turn this inward and think..."What could I have done differently?  How could my actions have prevented this?"  Cognitively, I know that I might not have been able to prevent this....most likely there is a lot more at play than I am aware of.  However, my thoughts are drawn towards the student who felt she had to give up.

Could Cheerful Acceptance helped in this situation?  Absolutely!  I do not know the details of this situation, but perhaps if the student who gave up had been more accepting of her own worth and value, perhaps she would have been able to withstand the pressure of the situation with the other student.  Much like the quote from former President, Theodore Roosevelt, if she had enough self-worth to care more about what she thought of what she did, she would have been able to persevere in this situation.

How can you Cheerfully Accept  who you are and draw strength from it?

Believe in possibilities...

Graphic from Single Nigerian

"One must have the adventurous daring to accept oneself as a bundle of possibilities and undertake the most interesting game in the world making the most of one's best." ~ Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878-1969)

Since the beginning of this blog, I have been talking about the importance of accepting all of the parts of who we are and Cheerfully Accept them as integral parts of who we are and can be.  I believe that this is an important journey and it is one path I am traveling down even as I type these words.

This mornings' quote has a slightly different take.  Fosdick, a theologian, is suggesting that we need to accept who we are as possibilities.  Once we Cheerfully Accept all of the parts of us, the next step in the journey is to see all of those parts as possibilities.  It is easy enough to see our strengths as possibilities...but how do we envision our weaknesses as possibilities?

One possibility is to see our weakness as an opportunity to reach out to others.  I have a weakness in impromptu public speaking....I say "um" and "uh" a lot when I am speaking "off the cuff."  My acknowledgment of this weakness moved me to join the Toastmasters.  Through the Toastmasters, I have met a whole new group of people....many of whom share my weakness..and we develop strength through our association with each other.  For years, I just made excuses about my impromptu weakness or avoided having to make impromptu speeches and I probably could have gone the rest of my life that way.  Instead, I acknowledged it, accepted it and found a way to make it a possibility.  I met people I never would have met otherwise!  This weakness has actually made a very positive difference in my life.

Which of your weaknesses can you turn into a possibility today?

A little confession...

graphic courtesy of Media Web Apps

"The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely." ~ C.G. Jung

I have never been a writer... For me to decide one day to sit down an write a blog and try to commit to writing everyday represents a huge challenge.  My first thoughts were, "how am I ever going to find things to talk about?"  So, I accessed another side of my personality, the researcher.  If  there is one thing my repeated forays in higher education have taught me, it is how to research.  I went to the internet and typed in a search for "Self-Acceptance Quotes" and looked at every website I could find.  I bookmarked a few of these sites and now, every morning, I open one of the websites and read through quotes until one of the speaks to me.  This morning it was psychiatrist/psychotherapist Carl Gustav Jung.

Jung's words remind me today of my own struggle.  The thought of accepting myself completely is absolutely terrifying.  The mere idea is looking inward at the parts of me I have worked so hard to hide represents a fear that may only be matched by death.  The process of accepting myself involves looking inward and naming all of parts of me.  Sure, I can name my strengths, but to actually name, acknowledge, and accept my weaknesses...

Even as I sit here writing about this, I can feel fear welling up inside.  I can name a few "lesser" weaknesses and they only hurt a little bit.  But those weaknesses that I have judged to be "big" weaknesses are far more painful.  Interestingly, as I read over what I just wrote...I have already passed judgement on all these things.  Part of accepting is NOT judging.  they are not big or small, good or bad...they are simply part of who I am.  I clearly have more work to do, and that is okay!

Cheerfully Accepting is letting go of the judgments and just accepting all the parts of us.  It is not an easy journey, but each day that I walk down this path, I am more committed to making this change.  I am ready to accept myself completely, even the dark parts.  What parts of you are you afraid to name?  How can you change your frame of mind to allow those parts to give you power?

Bee Yourself!

Photo Credit - irish-girls-expeditions

"Today you are You, that is truer than true.  There is no one alive who is Youer than You.  ~ Dr. Seuss

Dr. Seuss was a man who "got it" when it came to self-acceptance.  His lighthearted poetry was filled with a commentary on a variety of topics.  However, there are many poems that speak to the power of a positive self-image.  I saw this quote and something about it just spoke to me. Especially the second half of the quote.... "There is no one alive that is Youer than You."  That is powerful.  Why should we spend so much time worrying about how we "measure up"  to societal norms, when there is no one out there better at being us...than US!  We spend so much time "keeping up with the Jones's" and measuring ourselves against some many external sources that we forget we are completely unique.  From a philosophical standpoint, does it make sense for one snowflake to measure itself against another?  Of course not, they are each unique and beautiful (no two snowflakes are alike, right?)

We tell our children (at least I have anyway) to be proud of who they are and they are worthy for the things that make them unique.  Why should we treat ourselves any differently?  We live in a culture of "not enough"...I am not good enough, I do not make enough, etc..  you know the phrases.  Why is it good enough for our children to celebrate their uniqueness, but not for us?  What is different?

Bee Yourself!  Cheerfully Accept who you are and know that who you are is enough!  I struggle with this every day.  Today I am going to try to live from a place of I am enough!